Sunday, November 18, 2012


Ahhh, I remember.
I remember the indignation at the injustice of it all,
I remember believing firmly that money isn't everything,
I remember I was going to conquer the world,
I remember I was going to feed the hungry and care for the poor;

It's funny how life steals away many of our dreams with the harshness that is reality!
It's funny how our children carry those same dreams,
It's funny how the last thing we want is to destroy some of those ideas but as adults we recognize that in order for our children to succeed in life they must face a harsh reality:
We can't help them all.
Money does matter
The world can conquer us.
Life is full of injustice

This doesn't mean we are helpless in it means that:
we find a way to do what we love and get paid for it
We be respectful and kind to those in our lives
We help those locally that we can
We keep our hearts open to giving and volunteering
And last but in no way least:
We stand up and point out injustice ,
We confront it
We do what we can to fight it
We do not let evil stand unchallenged

And we hold our children responsible and teach them what we have learned and pray it sticks!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Shop my AVON store!

Shop my AVON store!: Here's a sneak peak at some of the latest products available at Avon. Be sure to click


I would like to take this time to shamelessly promote my new home based business.  Seeing as I am still unsure of my future in my chosen profession, I have taken it upon myself to do something about it!  

Many, many years ago(and yes by many, I am talking about over 20), I squandered the opportunity to have a home business as I was immature and not well suited to be disciplined within my profession.  That being stated it did allow me the opportunity to have a second chance.  My reasons for doing so are obvious, currently, some extra cash on hand couldn't hurt, especially with the holidays upon us and the price of gas & groceries.  Additionally, I would like to start a business and have a stable customer base available, should I have to stop working in my office.  

All that being said, I can proudly announce that I am an Avon Independent Sales Representative.  I have discovered that since 20 years ago, the product line has expanded.  Not only do we offer affordable alternatives for high quality skin care comparable to some of the best in the world , wide selection of personal scents from body washes, talc  perfume & colognes & an array of makeup, but we also have beautiful clothing for women & children,gorgeous jewelry and many gift ideas.  I am really very excited about all the growth I have seen in the product line and would love to be your personal Avon Independent Sales Representative!  If you would like more information, please feel free to contact me via 

Or Check Out My personal online store @

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Things I've done instead of commute today

1. Meander around Facebook
2. Clean up my apps in my phone
3. Start a nice pot of tea
4. Rest an extra hour
5. Spend some extra time with my puppy
6. Have a conversation with my son
7. Rest some more
8. Enjoy the warmth from the fireplace
9. Enjoy the view from my upper bedroom window looking out upon the beautiful snow covered landscape
10. Take a picture of that beautiful view to share with you

What a beautiful start to my first day working from home : )

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


A Poem By Catherine Spencer

The path begins with the dawning of the light
Slight noises that awaken me to my love's call
I struggle from the remnants of the dream 
to awaken to the reality that is my love
The past is left behind me and has turned to ashes within it's own 
reality of fire
The future is bright with the dawning of the light and the 
slight noises that awaken me to the heavenly voice of my love's 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

A New Outlook...Maybe

I was very skeptical when I saw on my support group that a gluten free diet can help my disease.  Well skeptical may not be the right word....because I don't doubt that it has helped people, I just doubt that I can do it.  I have a friend who has recently discovered that she is gluten intolerant and must go gluten free.  I've watched her struggle and done my best to encourage her while being glad that I didn't have to deal with that also.  

As with most people, food & I have a long and complex relationship.  In high school, I can safely say that I was anorexic.  I would go to the nurses office at least once a day to weigh myself and if I was over a certain weight(obviously it wasn't a healthy number), I wouldn't eat that day.  I had a couple of friends that realized what was going on and would make sure I ate something.  Once I became pregnant with my first child, that all changed.  To this day, I avoid scales like the plague.  

All that being said, recently I stumbled upon these ready to eat meals at the convenience store next to my job.  Usually the store is overpriced.  I was drawn to the cute little package and asked how much it was.  $2.50!  Jackpot! 

After nibbling on a few crackers with cheese & sausage, I see on the box that it is totally gluten free!  Today I tried the sunbutter....It's delicious!   I did notice that the caloric intake is a little high(yes I asked someone because no I don't count calories) but I'm thinking that I could replace a couple meals or snacks with things like this easily.  It's tasty & good for me. 

So, maybe, I can go partial gluten free and see if it helps : ) 

For more information on the gopicnic items, click the link below the picture.  I highly recommend them!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Needed to Share This

This was shared with me through my online support group.  I was literally in tears after reading it because I finally have found a way to share how I feel every day.  Even though I did not write this and it is regarding a different applies 100% to me also.

Please take the time to read and understand a little better :   The Spoon Theory

Thursday, September 20, 2012

My New Shoe

It's interesting how a simple thing like buying shoes has changed unexpectedly. I try ( not usually successfully) not to compare my before to my after but so far I haven't perfected that skill. I didn't even think about it till the doctor said no more heels. Anyone who knows me well, knows how devastating that news was. The only shoes I own that are not heels are sneakers....and I rarely wear them. All that being stated,I've adjusted somewhat to the idea and am trying to get a little excited to go shoe shopping.

Oh damn, I forgot, I'm broke!   Well, I realize that the more I walk in these heels the more likely that I will fall flat on my face...Sooooo   Pull something out of your budget so you can follow your doctors orders.  $40...I can eat a little $40 it is.  

Alissa needs new shoes so this is perfect timing.  Poor things shoes have gotten so tight that her big toe is bruising...Time for new sneaks.

Off we go to Marshalls, ok  I'm working on my guilt issues while trying to hide my excitement at getting to actually buy myself something.   Yes more issues....I'm loaded with them lately.  While Alissa is looking at sneakers, I go looking at boots.  I find a few that may work...Whoa...Not with that price tag.  I find a couple of beautiful Franco Sarto's ...damn I have expensive taste.  Alissa finds her sneakers really quick...begs me to hurry up...  I find 2 pair that may work(both within budget)....I try them both on....OH CRAP I FORGOT!

I can't feel my lower legs or my feet.  By the pressure on my one foot, I think it's too tight.  Ok...let's go bigger.  Alissa...Ya ...I'll switch it out for'll be faster(with that little imp look in her eye).  As I think, yes Alissa, I know your faster than me...LOL.  So what do I do...the only thing I can think of doing... Alissa, can you please feel the front of my shoe and tell me if there is enough room for my toe or too much?  Yeah  I'm that Mom...and bless her heart she did it : )

I got my first pair of flats(of course boots count)   The shadow makes them look a little brown but they are definitely black.  I like them.  and I like that my daughter stepped up and helped her mother deal with adjusting to it all : ) Thank you Alissa!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Awesome Online Support

This online support group does more than just offer a group of people to lean on and support. They also offer up to date research and information to help u manage and deal with your fibromyalgia! I strongly recommend joining this group.

I've Gone Mobile!

I am so very excited to have gone mobile! Realistically, this means many more posts from me....I know, hold your excitement at bay...I can now add photos to my of my favorite past times..but I have a feeling that my layout may suffer. We shall have to see.

I recognize that this post is lacking in a lot of information so here....look at the pretty picture I took:

T-Shirt...What T-Shirt

I have joined a support group for fibromyalgia since I've been here last. I took some more of the wonderful advice that I found on this site and joined the YMCA for a free month yesterday(if you have Horizon healthcare your first month is free(I think you get a free month also for just taking a tour but they get paid by horizon if you have the insurance…I digress…as usual)) Last night, I highlighted all of the classes that I feel are simple enough that I may be able to at least attempt. My main focus though was a Tai Chi class that starts at 9 am on Wednesdays(it's my day off and I read that wonderful article about Tai Chi helping Fibro patients). Obviously, my plan this morning was to go to that class.

Now seeing as it's 9:30 and I'm sitting here in my pajamas still…well I wont state the obvious.
I woke at 8:45…my alarm going off but more importantly my pain screaming that I missed my medication time. Ok…the Tai Chi is out for the day(I am realistic when reality is screaming in my face). Let's look at the schedule(after I take my meds of course). Oh look…Chair Yoga at 11 am or water aerobics at 6 pm. Let's see how the day goes…Ok…I think you guys know me a little by now…Let's aim for the 11 am. I go to get the laundry that isn't folded out of my son's room in the laundry basket…Wait..his bed isn't made properly from 2 days ago(My boyfriend isn't only type A …he's more like OCD when it comes to cleaning…so yea can't leave it cuz he's gonna freak soon). Let's make the bed with the sheets that are sitting on the end of the bed. Oh here come the kitties that love to get made into the bed…and don't forget the puppy who can't be away from me…Ouch quit it ouch quit it…Whew bed is made…Where was I? Oh yea the basket…

Move the basket to the living room so I can sit down and fold the laundry…why..Oh yea I didn't tell you(there is a point here)…I need to have something to wear to work out in…a large t-shirt. Oh sugar bunnies…this basket has folded towels in it…better put them away. towels put away…wow that's alot of laundry that isn't done in this basket in this closet…wait…focus…tshirt…Ok downstairs

So my daughter has once again piled the clean laundry on the table down here for the millionith time even though I've asked her a billion times to put it in the basket…I digress. Put laundry in basket while looking for tshirt. Whew…ouch quit it ouch quit it Damn I'm sweating. Nope…no tshirt…Where the heck can it be…
Dirty laundry in a small pile …nope not there…should throw that in the washing machine(more clothes for the clean basket to be folded and move the clean to the dryer). Still ouching…still quit it…still sweating…an idea is forming though…

Back up the stairs to those clothes in the basket in the closet…go through all of them…ohhhh that's where the tshirt is…back downstairs …put clothes into washer…carry laundry basket full of clean clothes back up the stairs…Oh My God…

It just occurred to me…I'm sweating…I'm sore…I still have a bunch of laundry to fold…I need a break now…and that t-shirt…it's not big enough to cover my leggings to wear to work out…Work out…damn I just did …I need a nap…maybe I will go to the 6 pm water aerobics and bring my daughter & son for moral support.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Payday Should Not Be This Depressing


Just got paid but thanks to my "wonderful" ex-husband my paycheck is and has been about 1/2 of what it should be.  The court system is completely screwed up and my ex knows just how to play it to his benefit.  My lawyer needs to step his game up completely and get all of this fixed.  No child support (ok..I've gotten $72 in a month for 2 children and he makes over $100, 000 a year...once again...SERIOUSLY!)  

I spend 2 weeks working my @ss pain....working late cuz of course the boss can't figure out how to finish on time....and I can pay a couple of my bills and may have gas money to get to work....Woohooo! 

My list of items that are needed that I can't get is getting longer and longer....My list of things that will be needed soon is doing the same....and my list of things I want ...well that's gotten real short because the only thing I want is what I'm supposed to be getting. 

Honestly, if it weren't for my boyfriend, my children and I would be homeless, starving and my car would be repossessed. It's ludicrous and of course it's causing stress in our household. 

Funny thing though.....we have these moments....where we still look at each other and recognize how blessed we are.  We know there are others who are unemployed, homeless, hungry with no vehicle.  We have the love between us.  No matter what my ex tries to do.....he can't take that away from us unless we decide to hand it to him....and well...Seriously...the answer to that is a resounding no.  

Take my health....Take my money.............You still can't take me! Must suck to be him   : ) 

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Today is the WHAT day of the rest of my life?

Today is the first day of the rest of your life....How many times have we heard that? Shoot how many times have I said myself and to others including my children.  

This blog is going to be where I can go to bitch it  Don't worry I'm not the type of person that bitching comes fact, I'm usually the one who my friends turn to when they want to hear how they can take a bad situation and turn it around to make it positive.  I like that about me.  I do my best to keep things positive. So if you think I'm only gonna bitch, then sorry.. 

I also reserve the right to comment on whatever else I want...things I find funny, things I find stupid, things that blow my mind, highly intelligent things, etc, etc. 

Allow me to introduce is the first day of the rest of my life...and my doctor has finally diagnosed me.  I have fibromyalgia.  I've spent the last 16 years of my life in intermittent pain of varying degrees from "damn I can't mop the floor" to "holy shit I can't get to the bathroom".  My fibromyalgia began quite ex-husband liked to bang my 95 lb body into walls, floors, doors etc.  Numerous times throughout our relationship he would bang my upper body and head repeatedly into the floor(at least one time it was cement and several times it was until I passed out).  

Now don't think I'm not owning my part in the relationship.  I stayed when I should have left.  I was naive and allowed myself the foolish thought that many young women have that they can "save someone with enough love".  It's bullshit girls.....they aren't worth saving...just get me...homeless and hungry was better than one more day with that man.  

That being said, the result was a pinched nerve in my neck that extends through 2 of my vertebrae.  This was caused by trauma and there isn't anything they can do for it(other than treat the symptoms).  Well apparently, these nerves have become hypersensitive.  Slowly(over the course of 16 years) the nerve damage has spread.  

I know have some very funny stories to tell.(bright side here)  About a year ago, the pain got intense...then it started.  My right hand has a mind of it's own.  It's favorite pastime is to spaz and throw things.  (I mean no disrespect by this next statement but it is a judgment upon my hand and how I deal sooo if you are offended, I apologize, I don't own your bs, time to move on)  I call it my retarded hand fondly (as does my family and coworkers at this point) 

I have thrown patient's credit cards at the shredder at work, thrown appointment cards at patient's heads, threw my hand into a butcher knife(4 stitches for that one), thrown my toothbrush across the room while brushing causing toothpaste to cover my face and fall upon my breasts since my towel fell at the same moment,I have burned myself repeatedly (got a oven glove to help with that), oh so much fun.  Basically, as time has gone on I have a numbness from my hand to my elbow on my right side.  My right foot and leg up to my knee and my left foot to my ankle are numb.  Recently, I have these weird electrical like feeling run through my neck, upper right back and shoulder, right side of my chest and the upper part of my right arm.  (If you've ever had electrostimulation during physical feels exactly like that tingling, sometimes some extra pain, weird, creepy, etc) 

The upside...I can play with my crazy cat and can't feel it when she sinks her claws or teeth in(she looks at me with a freaky look in her eye when I don't react), I once used my numb hand to protect a good friends head when she was having a seizure, I can't feel my sunburn.

Downside....the pain obviously, I walk like C-3PO since I can't feel how hard I am putting my feet down and don't want to fall, I can't drive very far without an increase in the pain 10 fold(ps I work an hour away from home), oh yea ...did I mention the pain. 

My entire life has completely changed in the last year.  (There was a point 15 years ago that I was out of work for 2 years from pain but was undiagnosed and untreated during that time)   Up until last May ....unless my "back was acting up", my life was very active.  I would work, spend time with my kids outside doing things, go hiking, spend time with friends, go out boating, go to karaoke, etc.  Now...everything is meticulously planned out and I do nothing for days in advance to prepare myself for the 3 hours I am going to spend out at karaoke with my friends.  Recently, I "helped" set up for my friends surprise birthday party(I sat in a chair and held balloons that someone else blew up and put some cheese on a platter) then spent time at the party.  In total, I was out of my house for 8 hours.  It took 2 days to recover to the point that I could move further than the bathroom and back to bed.  

I keep thinking positive and remind myself that so many other people have it worse.  My children are happy and healthy overall.  My man loves me and treats me like gold.  My dog adores me and follows my slow ass around.  My cats are a couple of sweethearts.  I have a nice comfortable home that is full of love.  I really have nothing to bitch about....except sometimes I do.  

So dear blogosphere, here I will come to bitch occasionally, think positive and remind myself of the good things occasionally, share something funny or beautiful occasionally.  

After all, today is the first day of the rest of my life......