Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A Brand New World

Hello dear reader,

It's been a roller coaster week with my pain.  Tonight is not the worst but it's close to it.  The weather in contributing in a very large way to the pain.  So I hope you will allow me to distract myself here.

I am heading into subject territory that is very dangerous.  I am taking my life into my hands by discussing these things here.  That being said, I will do my best to keep things as general as possible to protect the identity of my daughter.  Oh chit, the cat's out of the bag.  Well, she doesn't really pay attention to what I do anyway and thus will probably never stumble across my blog, let alone seek it out. Maybe I will be safe..LOL

Ok  Let's be serious:  She has a boyfriend.  The unique thing about this is that she met her bf through a video game.  Granted, nowadays, that's not so unique.  But....we didn't have the internet when we were growing up and atari sure as heck didn't link to other people in other houses so you could play together.  If you wanted to play together, you had to know one another, go over to one person's house and....wait for it.....Take Turns!    So now I sound old...Granted, I'm older.  All that being said, I am actually supporting my daughter.  I have made friends online.  I have lost online friends (as in they have died).  I have gone to an online friend's funeral and met online friends IRL(see I"m a little cool).  So I can't judge my daughter on the fact that she is doing what comes natural to her generation.

I am still her mother though and my responsibility is to keep her safe.  So we are going to meet this young man IRL and I have made it clear that the rules are very simple.  Stay close enough to me that if you need to scream, I can hear you.   I don't need to be "up their butts" but I have a responsibility to be sure that the nice young man that she has gotten to know, doesn't suddenly turn into that serial killer we have all read about.  

In today's world, boy meets girl through video game. Boy & girl talk all the time, not through the phone, but through "facetime"(in case you aren't as hip as I...that's a video chat).  Boy hangs out with girl all the time this way...except of course when they are playing a video game together and then they chat through the headset while watching each other's back as they kill off other gamers.  At some point though, there has to be a meeting IRL.  They just can't stay that way forever.   With every change in the world, there is good and there is bad.

I think the internet and all it's glory has opened the door for many shy young people to make friends and warm up to them long before they ever have to actually have a face to face conversation....and then even longer before having an IRL "date".  Obviously, it has also opened the door for people to misrepresent themselves.  Sometimes, simply that they aren't the 6'4" football player.  Other times that they are really dangerous & evil.

The fact is that those dangerous & evil people were around long before the internet and meeting people exclusively IRL doesn't keep you safe either.  My ex never needed the internet to be dangerous & evil.

 So I will do everything in my power to keep my daughter safe (even if she is embarrassed that she has to stay in the same restaurant as I) while giving her as many choices in her own life as possible.  I have to trust my daughter's judgement while protecting her.You usually know that you are handling a situation with a teenager the right way when no one is happy.  She would love to go off on her own & I would love to sit at the same table as her.  I think the "within screaming distance" rule is a good compromise.  I have to accept that it is a brand new world and do my best to adjust to it.  I also have to accept that my little girl is growing up.   I think I'm doing pretty well for an old chick ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment